by faith she

I've been reading "Dance Stand Run" by Jess Connolly. Whether this book is just solid gold or it's just the first time I've sat down to soak in almost an entire book in years (probably both), it's been speaking right to my heart in the best balance of truth and love, and you're definitely going to hear more about it. 

At the end of the chapter I just finished, we read from the Hebrews 11. Hebrews 11 is often called the "faith chapter" because it tells the story of imperfect person after imperfect person who accomplished something for the Lord by trusting Him. 

The author challenged us as readers to write our own "faith chapter" - recounting how we have been delivered and sustained, the storms we have endured, the victories we have won by faith in our God. She even suggested speaking life into our future by declaring how we will move forward by faith. 

so I did. and I wrote it in third person, because I like it like that.

///

 by faith, she graduated high school after two different cultures and found hope for the future. 

by faith she flew across the US and spent a year learning that God is close and everything she needs. 

by faith she believed that He had created her intentionally, beautifully, for a purpose, in spite of what those around her though. 

by faith she persevered through another school year filled with triumph and adventure, but also great loss, pain, and grief.

 by faith she said no to opportunities that would feed her pride, returned home to quiet herself and seek His will. 

by faith she stepped into a position that inflicted new anxiety but also brought companionship and sweet, stretching ministry. 

by faith she returned to school, was pushed past her limits, humbled, and surrounded by community. 

by faith she returned again to finish well - and by faith she obeyed to set a different finish line, farther away. 

 by faith she persisted in difficult relationships. 

by faith she continued to steward what God had entrusted her with. 

by faith she learned to bloom where she was planted. 

by faith she surrendered to the calling of Sabbath and learned to stop and read books again. 

by faith she stepped out in vulnerability and love. 

by faith she cried out to God in honesty, and he heard her prayers. 

by faith she (slowly) slept more, worried less, and gave her to-do lists over to her Heavenly Father.

 by faith she looked to the next step, 

without taking her eyes off 

of the Author and Finisher of her faith.

 by faith, she will not grow weary in doing good.

by faith she will step into the unknown by pressing into the One who knows.

by faith she will keep the first things first, because she knows she is living for an eternal kingdom. 

 by faith she will renew her heart and mind to be in line with the mind of Christ, 

and her identity in Him. 

by faith she will be healed. 

by faith she will breathe deeply, because nothing is out of God's hands.

\\\

each of these statements remind me of a few things:
#1
my life has not been easy, nor will it ever be.
#2
my God has never failed me, and He never will.
#3
my quality of life will improve 432% if I acknowledge and believe #1 and #2.

I was encouraged and strengthened by writing this out, and definitely shed a tear of hope (is that a thing? it is now) when I started writing future-tense. God is calling me (and all of His children) to trust Him enough to obey, but also enough to obey in faith and live in the peace that He has promised instead of in panic.

you don't have to write as much as I did (or you can write more!), but I think it would be valuable for you to take a moment and remember what God has brought you through by faith, and declare how you will live because of trusting Him and His promises. 

or feel free to steal one of my previous statements - I believe healing and freedom and a secure identity are desires that God has for each of His children. <3 

photos are from a last minute ride up the Alyeska tram in Girdwood, AK.

breathing

slowing down. stopping, even. 

I know it's a buzz topic these days, but I think it's for a reason. 

and I think it's becoming a bit of a personal soap box for me, mainly because it is a lesson that is taking its sweet time sinking into my soul. so I'm working on repetition to myself, and trying to be listening for the reminders of the Holy Spirit.

I'm not just fighting against the culture of productivity, accomplishment, and haste that I live in. 

I'm fighting my innate desire to be good enough, to be wanted, to belong.

moments before this photo I was having my own small version of a panic attack. if I have anxiety, I have learned to busy myself with some activity to distract myself from becoming overwhelmed; this time, it felt like my body (and the Holy Spirit) was done letting me shove the feelings under another todo list. my heart was beating quickly, I felt like I couldn't get enough air, I was slightly dizzy, and I was getting the message: something is NOT okay, deep inside of me. 

it takes me two seconds to look at the waves of my circumstances, ambitions, and the fallenness that I live in to become overwhelmed. I remembered learning about breath prayer a few semesters ago. I could be doing it completely wrong, but then again, there's really no wrong way to pray. so I started taking deep breaths and speaking in my head these two words - in, "Jesus." out, "calm." a simple cry for the One who calmed the waves to calm my heart. 

there was no miraculous relief, but after about five minutes (yes, five minutes of intentional deep breathing with my eyes closed) I knew two things: there was no quick fix, but there is purpose. 

I am not speaking to the anxiety of others that I do not personally experience, simply what God is teaching me through mine that I hope will be an encouragement to you. 

I need to stop - not just slow down and do less, there needs to be space that I am not doing, I am simply being. that can look different from time to time - I love journaling, listening to music, praying, reading, even taking photos can be cathartic for me. 

today, it took me about 10-15 minutes of closing my eyes and listening to music and breathing for the tension in my shoulders to relax and my focus to come back. 

I challenge you to take a moment to stop today. Jesus not only gives you the freedom and the option to stop and be still, as in He says that it is okay, He says that it is good and necessary and He calls us to it. be still and know that I am God (Psalm 46:10). choose the only thing that is needed and will not be taken from you - time at Jesus' feet, listening to His Word. (Luke 10:42).

maybe start with listening to Lean Back by Capital City Music. it's 6:54 long, so sit down and close your eyes or plug it in while you drive and breathe.

comment if you've experienced this, if this challenged you, if you have any other suggestions for dealing with this concept, 

or comment prayer requests and I will cover you as I read them.

photos taken by Ben, edited by me. 

hello // longing

(wow. it's been a while. 

so long that I forgot my password and had to reset it, oops.)

I have many. 

we each have our own:

longing. 

a yearning desire.

a craving, an ache.

to be someone else.

to be a different version of yourself.

to be somewhere else.

to know God better. 

to understand the world around you. 

to love more passionately. 

to have a positive attitude. 

to spend more time in His presence. 

to be completely healed. 

to be the best at your craft. 

to always be on time, always be ready.

to make dreams a reality.

to turn despair to hope, sadness to joy.

to share beauty.

to be heard.

to be loved.

virtuous hopes, misplaced ambitions. all these longings.

whether we accomplish what we think is success

or we persist in emptiness

it consumes us - chasing satisfaction.

but think.

think of this my friend -

when this world is past,

these unfulfilled aches will no longer exhaust our hearts.

they will be so far removed 

that we no longer remember the barren, desolate void they left in their wake.

we will be perfectly content.

completely filled.

fully satisfied.

(word of advice - even if you never publish them, do some kind of blogging. or journaling. or something you can look back on. it doesn't have to be long or complicated or artistic or eloquent. just a reminder, a little marker for you to look back and say "hey, I'm farther than I was. I conquered that battle. or I'm still fighting, and I haven't given up." etc. and all those cool things.)

life update: mission trip to SPAIN

starry sky in Ireland on my last trip with the LBC chorale

Hello friends!  

Most of you know that I have been going to college in Pennsylvania, and I am heading back this fall for my senior year. Most of you also know that choir has been a big part of my life since high school, and the community and music that I found through choir in high school continued when I joined the chorale at Lancaster Bible College. This fall, the chorale will be taking a trip to Spain to take part in a musical celebration of the 500th anniversary of the Reformation, when the people of Europe began to have exposure to the truth of God's grace and salvation through His Son. Our hope through this trip is to remind those we perform for and ourselves of the freedom that is offered to us through Christ's work on the cross, and to encourage unity among the believers already in Spain.  

I have been a part of the Lancaster Bible chorale for a couple years now, and along with the countless performances in Pennsylvania, I had the opportunity to travel with the group overseas. One of our biggest testimonies from our trip to Ireland was through interactions off the stage - with our bus driver.  No matter where we go, we hear back that people were impressed by not only our musical excellence but also the kindness, respect, and authenticity shown by every person involved. This is why I know that this group will minister not only to the audience when we perform in Spain, but we will also be a testimony of Christ's love to those on the airplane next to us and other interactions.  

That being said, the cost of my participation in this trip is $1850. $1440 of that is due on August 23rd. I know that if God wants me to participate in this trip by going, He will provide the funds. If He instead wants me to stay behind and support the rest of the team through prayer, then I will do that as well. If you could join me in prayer, here are some requests:  

• Pray for the chorale and Dr.Bigley as they prepare musically and spiritually for this trip.  
• Pray that God would go before us to Spain and prepare the hearts of those we will be interacting with, directly and indirectly.  
• Pray for those fundraising to go on the trip mid-semester.  
• 
  

If you would like to support me financially, donations can be given through LBC's website – go to lbc.edu and click on "GIVE" in the upper right-hand corner, select "Give Now" from the Give dropdown menu, and designate "Journey Teams" as the recipient of your contribution. Please make sure "Rachel Willyerd – Spain" is in the comments when you submit so that it can be appropriately filed. If you would rather write a check, it can be made payable to "LBC Journey Team" with my name on a separate note and mailed to Journey Teams, 901 Eden Rd, PA 17601-5036. (please note that if I do not reach the total needed, your donations will go to helping other people on the team go – it's a group effort. However, if you would like the option of a refund in that situation, contact me about your donation personally).  

If you would like updates and prayer requests as I prepare for and hopefully go on this trip, respond with your email or other contact information as I will be making a list. If you have any other questions, please contact me! I am truly excited to see what God has planned for the individual members of this team and the people of Spain. His kingdom come, His will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Thank you, friends!  

Rachel Willyerd 

  

16/52 // hold on

hold on. hold on, heart. hold on, daughter, son. stand fast

or sit. whatever you've got to do, do it. 

I see you, continuing. I'm proud of you.

but more than that, He sees you.

 and it may feel like He is silent; but He hears every cry of your heart, spoken and unspoken.

oh, please do not give up, do not give in.

I pray there is someone in your life to lean on and hug you and this dry season. I would if I could.

 and I challenge you... press into Him. even if He seems far away. even if it seems scary. 

He is never cold.

He is never distant. 

only the enemy would tell you the lies that He is. 

 I know you believe in who He says He is; and I know you do not feel it now, here.

the two realities can exist at the same time. 

I want you to be okay with that tension.

and know: this is not forever.

I don't know what it will look like, or when it will come, 

but relief and light are coming

- whether it is in heaven, or tomorrow morning.

Christ's victory is just as true and powerful. 

the enemy's grip was not enough to keep Him in the grave

and it is not strong enough to separate you from His love. 

believe that. 

and hold on.

15/52 // surreal?

it's such a strange feeling. I chose (fell into?) a career that requires empathy and creativity, and I didn't even realize it starting out. 

this job has been the most bizarre thing for God to just slip into my life and continue to cultivate. 

I had no idea what I was getting into and probably would not have continued to pursue it if I had not started out in complete overconfidence.

stream in the adirondacks

I think I didn't actually believe I could get to where I am now. so that's encouraging.

photo cred: blythe elizabeth photography

this is a thank you, in a way, to everyone who supported me when I started out and had very little idea what I was doing - and to everyone who continues to support and encourage me now that I have a little better idea. I have spent countless hours comparing myself to others, so many nights frustrated with my own work (#artistprobs), but almost as many "eureka" moments and happy squeals behind the camera or during editing marathons.

salt flats of nevada

the places that I have been because of my opportunities feed my gypsy heart and obsession with beauty and exploring like none other. my wanderlust could not ask for a more fulfilling career. I know I don't deserve it and I don't know how long I get to do it, but I'm soaking in every moment while I can.

mobile office

when I say I could not have made it to where I am today without people around me, I'm not just saying it. the support of my family emotionally and practically is so beyond what I could have ever knew I needed. the countless people who have trusted me to preserve the preciousness of their lives in an art form still blows me away. the more experienced photographers who have given me tips that have been engraved in my brain. the other creatives that have walked alongside me. my best friend for always helping me choose a sneak peak. my brother for geeking out over equipment with me. the families and friends of clients that have taken me into their hearts and homes. the clients that have turned into lifelong friends.

backpack contents

this is my focusing face, apparently.

 I've made so many silly mistakes and I continue to, but I continue to learn from them. I continue to get better. I plan on improving for the rest of my career, whatever God has planned for it. I promise to do my absolute best whenever I am giving the opportunity to photograph.

to the glory of God alone, I'm in the middle of the rewards of consistency and perseverance (THOSE ARE HARD THINGS FOR ME). it's so motivating, exciting, terrifying, beautiful, beyond me. 

like, wait a minute. breath. take it all in. shake my head and open my eyes again. this is happening? so surreal.

14/52 // unexpected residue

momma told me I was quiet today.

it's been almost a full week of adventuring with my family and it feels like we packed a month's worth of big events in. being with them after the semester is glorious. having the chance to focus on photography and other things instead of homework feels like peppermint iced tea after a long, hot hike.

but momma was right. after a semester of basically living by myself, I realized my default for the past couple semesters is this quiet little world inside my head. I came out of it for classes, or work, or coffee dates and phone calls. but other than that, it was just me. 

after the insanity of giving my family a 24 hour tour of my campus and the city, moving out, photographing a wedding two states down, and then driving back up three states for family visit #1, I crashed and slept (finally). without realizing it, I retreated back into my quiet world. I'm not used to having someone there to process with 24/7, or three other people who need the shower.

praise Jesus for my patient family and for momma for pointing it out. I don't think quiet is bad; but this kind of quiet was the subdued survival mode of the semester, rather than peaceful and at rest. I'm tired of just staying alive instead of looking forward to getting up in the morning.

the thing that baffles me is reverting to that secluded state was completely involuntary and so subtle, I hadn't noticed myself. I'm coming out of it slowly, trying to take deeper breaths. communicate. take my foot off the pedal and the pressure off myself.

there are situations and memories that are re-surfacing - for all my attempts to process them during the semester, I could really only smooth the troubled waters and move on to the next assignment. 

so here is to filling my lungs. here's to looking forward with hope. to letting God heal the past, to learning how to love, to letting people in. to getting rest and getting outside. to living under the shadow of grace and in the strength of His love. to letting myself cry, to acknowledging disappointment, to reminding myself of His faithfulness. to letting others help me, stop being the lone ranger, and getting emotionally healthy so I can be there for the ones I love. to digging deep into His Word and surrendering and sharing my heart with Him. to making memories and taking photographs and writing songs. 

the photos are from middle creek wildlife center somewhere in PA.