seven of fifty-two // everything is different, nothing has changed

a year ago today, I took this photo. 

I was working three+ jobs, taking classes, trying to get to the gym, have meaningful relationships, spend time with my family, spend time with God... 

I remember it was too much but it would take me too long to admit it. I remember I struggled feeling like there was a point to all my running around, asking "Is it worth it?" trying to prioritize and still falling short. it was never enough.

today, I'm working a couple jobs, taking more classes than I would prefer, trying to have meaningful relationships, learn a ton about loving God, myself and others, get back in shape, prepare for a quickly-approaching leap into the unknown future, get into God's Word...

most days it feels like too much but I never want to admit it. sometimes I wonder if there is a point to everything I try to accomplish. pretty much every day I wonder if I will ever be enough.

everything is different but it seems like not much has changed. 

last night a quote in one of my classes hit me like a brick. like a heavy weight brick at full speed. 

"I will never be enough because I was made to need the Son of God."

oh. 

"once we have settled in our hearts that we will never be enough, we can focus our eyes on the glory of God. with Him, we are absolutely enough."

...okay. well that changes things. 

I don't know what that looks like practically at the moment, but you can bet I am going to figure it out and get back to you.