by faith she

I've been reading "Dance Stand Run" by Jess Connolly. Whether this book is just solid gold or it's just the first time I've sat down to soak in almost an entire book in years (probably both), it's been speaking right to my heart in the best balance of truth and love, and you're definitely going to hear more about it. 

At the end of the chapter I just finished, we read from the Hebrews 11. Hebrews 11 is often called the "faith chapter" because it tells the story of imperfect person after imperfect person who accomplished something for the Lord by trusting Him. 

The author challenged us as readers to write our own "faith chapter" - recounting how we have been delivered and sustained, the storms we have endured, the victories we have won by faith in our God. She even suggested speaking life into our future by declaring how we will move forward by faith. 

so I did. and I wrote it in third person, because I like it like that.

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 by faith, she graduated high school after two different cultures and found hope for the future. 

by faith she flew across the US and spent a year learning that God is close and everything she needs. 

by faith she believed that He had created her intentionally, beautifully, for a purpose, in spite of what those around her though. 

by faith she persevered through another school year filled with triumph and adventure, but also great loss, pain, and grief.

 by faith she said no to opportunities that would feed her pride, returned home to quiet herself and seek His will. 

by faith she stepped into a position that inflicted new anxiety but also brought companionship and sweet, stretching ministry. 

by faith she returned to school, was pushed past her limits, humbled, and surrounded by community. 

by faith she returned again to finish well - and by faith she obeyed to set a different finish line, farther away. 

 by faith she persisted in difficult relationships. 

by faith she continued to steward what God had entrusted her with. 

by faith she learned to bloom where she was planted. 

by faith she surrendered to the calling of Sabbath and learned to stop and read books again. 

by faith she stepped out in vulnerability and love. 

by faith she cried out to God in honesty, and he heard her prayers. 

by faith she (slowly) slept more, worried less, and gave her to-do lists over to her Heavenly Father.

 by faith she looked to the next step, 

without taking her eyes off 

of the Author and Finisher of her faith.

 by faith, she will not grow weary in doing good.

by faith she will step into the unknown by pressing into the One who knows.

by faith she will keep the first things first, because she knows she is living for an eternal kingdom. 

 by faith she will renew her heart and mind to be in line with the mind of Christ, 

and her identity in Him. 

by faith she will be healed. 

by faith she will breathe deeply, because nothing is out of God's hands.

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each of these statements remind me of a few things:
#1
my life has not been easy, nor will it ever be.
#2
my God has never failed me, and He never will.
#3
my quality of life will improve 432% if I acknowledge and believe #1 and #2.

I was encouraged and strengthened by writing this out, and definitely shed a tear of hope (is that a thing? it is now) when I started writing future-tense. God is calling me (and all of His children) to trust Him enough to obey, but also enough to obey in faith and live in the peace that He has promised instead of in panic.

you don't have to write as much as I did (or you can write more!), but I think it would be valuable for you to take a moment and remember what God has brought you through by faith, and declare how you will live because of trusting Him and His promises. 

or feel free to steal one of my previous statements - I believe healing and freedom and a secure identity are desires that God has for each of His children. <3 

photos are from a last minute ride up the Alyeska tram in Girdwood, AK.

breathing

slowing down. stopping, even. 

I know it's a buzz topic these days, but I think it's for a reason. 

and I think it's becoming a bit of a personal soap box for me, mainly because it is a lesson that is taking its sweet time sinking into my soul. so I'm working on repetition to myself, and trying to be listening for the reminders of the Holy Spirit.

I'm not just fighting against the culture of productivity, accomplishment, and haste that I live in. 

I'm fighting my innate desire to be good enough, to be wanted, to belong.

moments before this photo I was having my own small version of a panic attack. if I have anxiety, I have learned to busy myself with some activity to distract myself from becoming overwhelmed; this time, it felt like my body (and the Holy Spirit) was done letting me shove the feelings under another todo list. my heart was beating quickly, I felt like I couldn't get enough air, I was slightly dizzy, and I was getting the message: something is NOT okay, deep inside of me. 

it takes me two seconds to look at the waves of my circumstances, ambitions, and the fallenness that I live in to become overwhelmed. I remembered learning about breath prayer a few semesters ago. I could be doing it completely wrong, but then again, there's really no wrong way to pray. so I started taking deep breaths and speaking in my head these two words - in, "Jesus." out, "calm." a simple cry for the One who calmed the waves to calm my heart. 

there was no miraculous relief, but after about five minutes (yes, five minutes of intentional deep breathing with my eyes closed) I knew two things: there was no quick fix, but there is purpose. 

I am not speaking to the anxiety of others that I do not personally experience, simply what God is teaching me through mine that I hope will be an encouragement to you. 

I need to stop - not just slow down and do less, there needs to be space that I am not doing, I am simply being. that can look different from time to time - I love journaling, listening to music, praying, reading, even taking photos can be cathartic for me. 

today, it took me about 10-15 minutes of closing my eyes and listening to music and breathing for the tension in my shoulders to relax and my focus to come back. 

I challenge you to take a moment to stop today. Jesus not only gives you the freedom and the option to stop and be still, as in He says that it is okay, He says that it is good and necessary and He calls us to it. be still and know that I am God (Psalm 46:10). choose the only thing that is needed and will not be taken from you - time at Jesus' feet, listening to His Word. (Luke 10:42).

maybe start with listening to Lean Back by Capital City Music. it's 6:54 long, so sit down and close your eyes or plug it in while you drive and breathe.

comment if you've experienced this, if this challenged you, if you have any other suggestions for dealing with this concept, 

or comment prayer requests and I will cover you as I read them.

photos taken by Ben, edited by me.